Die You Zombie Bastards! Poster, Synopsis, Trailer, Several Raw Reviews

Thrill to the mayhem that ensues when ever-lovable serial killer Red Toole sets off on a globe-trotting quest in search of his missing wife, the lovely Violet — caught in the clutches of the evil Baron Nefarious who, of course, plans to conquer the world (or something) by turning everyone into mindless zombie slaves! The story may sound familiar, but trust us — you’ve never seen anything like this!

See! A serial-killer superhero with a cape made of human flesh! Hear! Legendary one-man band & rockabilly pioneer Hasil Adkins! Smell! Scalding, molten cheese disfiguring pert young bodies! Hear! An exclusive and eclectic rock ‘n’ roll soundtrack!

Chant it, growl it, shout it, sing it, scream it — do whatever you want, but audiences the world over are saying it loud: “Die You Zombie Bastards! ” A low-budget indie masterpiece more than five years in the making, this is the movie you’ve been waiting for. Are you ready for it?!

Director: Caleb Emerson
Writers: Haig Demarjian (writer), Caleb Emerson (writer)
Release Date: February 2005 (USA)
Genre: Comedy | Fantasy | Horror | Sci-Fi
Tagline: The World’s First EVER Serial Killer Superhero Rock’n'Roll Zombie Road Movie Romance
Runtime: USA:97 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Filming Locations: Gloucester, Massachusetts, USA
Company: Zombastic Productions Inc.

DIE YOU ZOMBIE BASTARDS! REVIEWS

I for one have never been so shocked, disgusted, and strangely turned on by a film in all my life. Is that wrong 8/10
By: Tex Massacre

Something occurred to me as a sat back, relaxed and tossed this latest screener into my player… lets face it, just the title of this film alone should qualify it for 2 stars. So, since we’re grading on the curve here, lets just see how much further up or down the proverbial spiral this bad boy can take us.

Billed as “The Worlds First Serial Killer, Superhero, Rock & Roll, Zombie, Road Movie Romance. DYZB delivers 10 fold on its promise (How’s that for truth in advertising) as it follows the adventures of loveable, but dim witted, serial killer Red Toole on his quest to rescue his beloved cannibal wife Violet from the evil clutches of Barron Nefarious whose dastardly plans include a marriage Violet before turning the entire world into a race of Zombie Slaves ***Insert maniacal laughter here***.

Never failing to live up to its unabashed hype, DYZB supplies a massive amount of over the top blood, guts and gore along with enough rampant jolts of juvenile sexual humor to make Howard Stern blush. Clearly the cast and crew of this epic zombiethon have had way too much fun here. Nothing is taken seriously as our hero (Did I mention before that the “Hero” is a cannibal serial killer) does battle with Zombies, Ninjas, Dog-Faced Men, Giant Mosquitoes, Vlad the Impaler, Some kind of Fishman thing with the biggest Fishman thingy (You get what I mean!) that I’ve ever seen in my entire life, all in a effort to save the world and the love of his life from the malevolent madness of the (ugh) Nefarious Barron Nefarious (Did I just say that!). Along the way Red is going to need the help of one-man-band-rockabilly-legend Hasil Adkins, a nippleless Swedish barmaid, his long lost father (who must have escaped from the set of Jaws XXII) and a bizarre angel played by porn legend Jamie Gillis.

I don’t know what the director’s intentions were and frankly I’m not sure I want to either, but all those people that were up in arms over Kevin Bacon’s performance as a sympathetic child molester in The Woodsman are liable to have a freakin’ coronary as the audience cheers on the misadventures of Red Toole, Serial Killer extraordinaire, and part time zombie slayer with over 200 kills (mostly human). I’ll admit it’s a special kind of film where the bad guy, who only wants to turn the population into flesh eating monsters is more disturbing than the superhero who wears a cape made of human flesh.

Outrageous camp, horrifying skull crushing cannibalism and a trio of the sexiest green zombie slave girls ever, makes Die You Zombie Bastards the perfect film for the whole family (if you’re the Manson family!!!). If anyone reading this article has any self-respect and any industry clout, get these guys a distribution deal as fast as you can. I’m not sure they should be allowed to continue this madness with out some type of studio supervision. I for one have never been so shocked, disgusted, and strangely turned on by a film in all my life. Is that wrong?

I feel like somebody took a handful of $hit and threw it at a movie screen 1/10
I feel like somebody took a handful of $hit and threw it at a movie screen, because that would be more talent than what I viewed. Even Roger Corman would say this was garbage. Ed Wood didn’t even like it. I hope the writer and director didn’t use their real names on this film. Seeing the main character run around with his rubber penis, didn’t help this crap much either. As far as the acting goes, holy crap this whole cast is beyond needing acting lessons. I can’t believe that somebody could produce garbage like this. The writer should not only be shot, but his parents killed for having him (just kidding). In closing if you have an hour and a half to kill and it comes down to watching this movie or rubbing your nuts on a cheese grater, choose the cheese grater because you’ll get more out of it.

Bad zombie movie, good Troma movie 3/5
“Die You Zombie Bastards!” (2005) is the latest film I’ve seen in my Sisyphean effort to review every zombie movie ever made. “Die You Zombie Bastards!” is distributed by Troma Entertainment. For those who recognize that name, you can probably stop reading the review now. That’s all you need to know. You either like Troma, or you don’t. For those who don’t recognize that name, movies that are made or distributed by Troma tend to be terribly written, have ridiculously fake effects, are unapologetically raunchy, and filled with gratuitous sex. If someone buys a movie with the Troma logo on it, then they should not be surprised that the movie has any or all of the qualities that I listed. “Die You Zombie Bastards!” is no disappointment. It had all of those qualities, and more. Simply put, the plot is about a serial killer who is searching for his girlfriend who was kidnapped by zombies. The zombies are under control of a giant phallused prehistoric-fish-alien-thing, Baron Nefarious. Or were the fish and the Baron two different characters? Not that the plot really matters in this movie.

Now to get down to my typical zombie review. What strain of zombie are these “Zombie Bastards”? You know that green alien lady from the classic Star Trek? That’s kind-of what the Zombie girls look like…only more naked. The zombie boys are pretty much the same. People in green grease paint and wigs. They are transformed into zombies and are controlled by Baron Nefarious. The makeup is pretty bad, and the zombies are fairly harmless, so they get a meek zombie rating of 3/10.

There is a lot of gore in the movie, mostly played for comedic value. Someone went overtime with the latex and rubber cement. The “hero” wears a demented superhero outfit, with a cape made out of human flesh, and a belt with the center bit being some male genitals. Various bodily fluids are sent flying throughout the movie. It’s all really fake looking, but it’s sort-of meant to be that way. This film gets a zombie gore score of 7/10.

This is a Troma film, so it had more than it’s fair share of the zombie movie gratuitous sexism and nudity. The zombie women are topless most of the time. On the hero’s journey to find his girlfriend, he encounters a field of Swedish women, an all girl bar, and a girl administering herself pain in the background of a weird Jamaican guy’s apartment 6/10.

“Die You Zombie Bastards!” is a bit slow and repetitive at points. The plot is not very consistent, but it isn’t really trying to be. It’s more the type of film where the viewer is supposed to sit back and enjoy the idiocy. Although I realized that, I still found myself reaching for the remote to hit the FF button more than once. On the boredom scale (0 being insomnia curing, 10 being ‘78 Dawn of the Dead) this movie gets a 6/10.

The dialogue in the movie is really awful. Once again, this is not a surprise when someone buys a Troma film, but even for Troma this dialogue is bad. The acting is even worse. It’s that type of acting where all the performers know how bad the script is, so they go out of their way to perform is as awfully as they can. This movie gets a 3/10 for having a bad “even by Troma standards” zombie movie dialog. +1 point for a great soundtrack that has the required zombie synthesizer, and even some songs by Paul Leary of the Butthole Surfers.

Overall, “Die You Zombie Bastards!” gets a slightly below average 4/10 in my Zombie movie scale. It’s probably not worth buying for the hardcore zombie fiend, unless you really like the Troma type of movie. It might be worth renting for the more casual undead movie fan, but by no means a necessary watch for a hardcore zombie movie purist. Considering the film, not on my Zombie scale; rather using a Troma scale, I would probably give this movie a 7/10.

Wonderful 5/5
DIE YOU ZOMBIE BASTARDS! is all about yelling, violence, and nudity, right in line with all those troma movies(Lloyd Kaufman even manages a voice cameo). We’ve got a crazy serial killer couple split up by a South Park-esque super villain who plans to turn everybody into zombies. This sends our man Red on a trek all across the world(on a geographically bizarre map) to fight zombies and hear about stories of weird Bahamaian hunters and Swedish cheese demons and all sorts of great things like that.

And there’s dogmen. If you love dogmen, just get this already. You can’t go wrong with dogmen. Not werewolves. Dogmen. If you think the idea of dogmen isn’t so great, then definitely don’t buy this film.

The humor’s great and never lets up, it’s constantly bizarre, and there’s plenty of messiness and nudity to satisfy you if that’s the sort of thing you demand of your ridiculous movies.

DIE YOU ZOMBIE BASTARDS! TRAILER