Mike C.’S Not So Great Movies I Liked of 2008

Ok, here’s a fun little “Top Movies” list. It’s no secret I like a good piece of junk movie. I am the young man who searched for months for a DVD of “Death Ship” and who, of his own accord, spend 2 months making an unauthorized re-edit of “Exorcist II” because I’m just convinced I can show there’s a good movie in there somewhere. (Or at least one of you can understand…)

My “Bottom 5”, those are movies I just really didn’t like. Found no enjoyment in them. These movies here, they’re not so good. I’ll be right up front and honest with you. They’re not good but I couldn’t help enjoying something about them. So…be warned, watch these at your own risk, and don’t hate me because I enjoyed “Pulse 2” more than “Diary of the Dead”.1. PULSE 2: AFTERLIFE - Allow me to explain. I really didn’t hate the first one. I kind of dug the premise and I actually liked the whole “shot through a blue filter look”. Yes, I am the only one. Completely aware of that. Totally cool with it. So I was mildly interested in “Pulse 2”. Oh…my goodness. Ok, what you have heard is almost totally true. The entire movie was shot in front of a green screen. And it shows. In fact, I’m pretty sure even the interiors were shot with a green screen background. A number of sequences take place in a cabin and it all looks awfully fake. I just couldn’t believe what I was watching. A naked John Gulagher (director of “Feast”) appears in an uncredited cameo, and throws himself off an overpass. A woman turns to black corn flakes in front of her 6 year old daughter. Come on, how I can completely hate a movie like this? It’s late-night cable gold.

2. MY NAME IS BRUCE - I so wanted so much to believe this was going to be a good movie. It’s really not. It’s really, really cheap. The monster looks like complete garbage, and every time it decapitates someone I’m pretty sure it’s just the same camera set up. But, it was funny where it needed to be, even if it looks like it was filmed on during the off season at some low-rent tourist trap wild west theme park. If you come to this movie expecting nothing more than Bruce Campbell making fun of himself, and us his fans, then you will go away happy.

3. JACK BROOKS MONSTER SLAYER - Look, I want to talk about this one again because I didn’t give it an entirely favorable review. It’s not a good movie, it’s far from a must-own DVD. Still, the guys behind this put a great effort in, and for all the faults and flaws of the movie the practical monster scenes are excellent. If and when they find a story they are capable of sustaining at feature length I know we’re all going to be in for a hell of a good time.

4. RETURN TO SLEEPAWAY CAMP - A lot of bad reviews on this one, but I think the shots against “Return” were largely based on this strange notion that the original “Sleepaway Camp” was some kind of cinematic masterpiece. It’s a piece of crap, people. A gloriously vile, angry, profanity laced piece of cinematic junk. So is this movie. And I loved it.